Series

How to Build Self-Esteem Part 6: How to Accept Compliments

This is part 6 in our self-esteem series. (Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 and Part 5.)

True Compliments Must Be Acknowledged

Compliments are defined as statements of praise. What most people look at when being given a compliment is the truth behind the comment. This is because people as social beings want to be acknowledged for the contributions they have made to society.

Compliments are a good way for people to tell them how great they are. However, since compliments are so easy to dish out, it must be absolutely truthful. People can smell a lying or an insulting compliment a mile away. You can see it in the eyes, the posture, even the smile of the one making the compliment.

As grease for the social wheel, compliments have seen abuse many times for its convenience. This has caused a double-edged phenomenon among people that makes them automatically reject compliments with a negative disparaging remark about themselves or accept it too readily.

In short, people nowadays prefer to sell themselves short than to accept a compliment.

It became apparent that people with low self-esteem tend to reject compliments and establish a false sense of modesty while people with an overweening confidence tend to accept compliments with an edge to it. The art of accepting compliments was in danger of becoming lost.

Here’s how to accept compliments without coming off as cocky or as a rejecter:

-    Know yourself. This cannot be emphasized enough. To get rid of the insecurity that compliments generate in a person, knowledge about oneself is the most important factor.
With self-knowledge, you know yourself more than anybody can. When a compliment is given, you can instantly detect whether it was genuine by the sheer fact that you know where you truly stand in the scheme of things. Compliments that are specific usually mean people are sincere.

Nothing feels better than to be acknowledged for a job hard fought and truly well done. When you know you have given all you had to the project, the late nights, the overtime, the concentration, you should accept it with good grace, because you know you deserve the accolades.

-    Learn to say Thank You. Compliments are one of the hardest things to accept for most people. So take a breath and practice saying “Thank you” to the wonderful gift of compliments.

Acknowledge the compliment by giving a genuine and sincere appreciation of the remark. It is not necessary to give another one back to the complimenter. This is not a market where you have to do an exchange. Just don’t forget when the opportunity comes for you to give one yourself.

-    Trust your instincts. How can you tell the person is sincere? You can try trusting your first impressions. The first two seconds is enough for your intuition to see whether people mean what they say about you.

Nevertheless, you most probably accept the compliment anyway to keep the wheel rolling along. Except that now you will take this compliment with a grain of salt. But also take stock of your condition. You might be tired and might react differently. It all depends on whether you are able to observe yourself and your reactions. That way you won’t be caught off guard.

Is it hard or easy for you to accept compliments?